#ITS LIKE all you give them a drink | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kyonshi-8610 · 16 days ago

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making use of my 200 years old sketchbook

original image of second: x_x

#drew this ferst on a sketchbook then over some parts digitally..#dungeon meshi fanart #dunmeshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #kabru of utaya #asked my friend if i should keep the foot & she went “honestly yeah” and said ryoko kui would applaud me for it lol #don't think she'd be doing all that but thanks tea love you girl kinginamong bakla ka #granted its only on tumblr... removed the foot on bsky because the original artist was there and i felt the shame of a hundred priests #kabru and toshiro as officeworkers ❤️#their boss always gives them free pizza and drinks instead of actually paying their salary on time ❤️#kabru is a kpop fan. to me. not because i like kpop that mucj eitjer but because the wells have foretold me it #kabru is also an avid gloc-9 listener because i said so #wait i take it back that man is bumping BINI #and umaasa by calein . filipinos do you understand me #idk what music toshiro would listen to i think he'd be ok with white noise which is coincidentally laios' nickname in the back of his mind #CHAROT. kidding kiddinggg

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infiniteseriesofhalfways · 1 month ago

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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom

#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this #(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect #making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard #also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift #AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled #but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen #also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot #but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested #not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap #and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied #which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh #and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer #like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage #and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc #AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be #but ANXIETY #its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember #if i fucked up or not #and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much #fuck #wish me luck #ks talks

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foulfeast · 2 months ago

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Ohhhh i now remember why i got shy about talking abt ocs

24/7 fear that someone will tell me my ideas are cliche/stupid/bad in some other and it will hurt more bc these are my own creations and not just fun and play

#kurjatxt #i was trying 2 explain some stuff and i was immediately like #:/ does this feel like some kinf of weird hype for ancient mysticism and does that go into promoting the current day false ideas plaguing #people that make them drink unpasturized milk :/#is this too based on my view on magic from my enviroment bc it is based on my personal experience on seeking safety in #nostalgia and playing w the idea of balancing what you get from the past and integrating it into the future vs. just being stuck in the #past vs. the danger of completely rejecting the past told through the lense of smth i loved as a child: fantasy/magic/fairytales :/#and could be alienating and immature and demeaningly simple to other people who grew up in an enviroment already more inclined to #this kind of balance :/#or is me thinking about this demeaning to people bc i should be able to trust them to see what i make as silly ramblings by some random #tumble user just exploring their own experiences through story instead of trying to make some large sweeping statements about #the world and its reality :/#or is it bad of me to be careless about bc of COURSE i should put the upmost care into what i put out into the world and make sure that #everything i make is inclusive and as accessible to as many different types of people to relate to :/#or is that dumb is that limiting to art and am i giving a bad example and furthering the idea of people #havibg to make everything as palatable to everyone as possible JUST in case that nobody gets even slightly hurt or annoyed :/#man being a creator is hard OOPS that is also an evil thing to say being a creator is the luckiest thing you can ever be and ur just beinh #a whiny bitchbaby :/#<-#all that just. a small portion of the overthinking #and yk what it started from?#thr statement '<#in this world magic can be kind of more compared to how modern science is approached'#THAT SENTENC3 #I AM SO STRESSED ABOUT #WhY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS!!!! I DONT KNOW!!!#sorry this is prolly the longest tags ive ever put on a post sorry to whoever opened the see more for this #its just. i think tj3 first tim3 ive been able.to expresw the circles my brain does and its kind of therapeutic #maybe i should start writing these circles down more often so i could see how dumb they rly are on paper #instead.of fretting inside my heae

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paimonial-rage · 5 months ago

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My favorite works in no particular order:

Tipsy Tales (Anemo Boys)

Symbiosis (Ayato)

What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)

Hello How Are You (Gorou)

Follow the Wind II (Kazuha)

Of the Same Coin (Mika)

Songs of the Wind (Venti)

Nothing Lasts Forever (Yae Miko)

Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness (Zhongli)

Of Hopes and Prayers (Zhongli)

#about me #it actually is a coincidence that majority are from different characters and not the same #so in like manner as another list i gave a while back i shall give fun facts about each #tipsy tales - one day i will update the post to include wanderer and will not tell anyone or reblog it #symbiosis - one of my favorite readers. i just like the way they speak. i dont have a full story planned for them as of yet #what destiny has brought - in truth i cannot stand fischl. she annoys me. i only wrote this bc i wanted her to stop being so delusional #hello how are you - tbh i only like this bc i think i absolutely nailed the voice and characterization. one day i will write a sequel #follow the wind ii - probably my all time favorite work. features one of the few kisses i have ever written.#(cont) but it cant be understood without reading the first chapter and my thoughts on kazuha as a character #of the same coin - i'll be honest i just think this is cute. i think this fic has one of my highest reblog to notes ratios #songs of the wind - the vibes are good with this one. like the first chapter has good vibes but this chapter is even better. very warm #nothing lasts forever - i wanted to write yae in a moment of weakness. i think i did a good job #sharing a drink they call loneliness - the amateurness of the writing now makes me wince but.... the catharsis and ending is still top notch #(cont) i had a point i wanted to make with this fic and smashed it out of the ballpark #of hopes and dreams - probably the most romantic fic in the series and its a deleted scene lmao. still like how i wrote it though #i forgot to say that these arent necessarily my best written fics #they're just the fics i personally like the best #honorable mentions are:#telling them off (ayato)#completely covered in red (ayato)#simple (alhaitham)#follow the wind i (another one i completely nailed the voice and characterization for in my humble opinion)#secret identities and whatnot (venti/xiao)#indulgence (wriothesley)#slitherer-outer (zhongli)#i know i'm kinda feeling myself in this post but nobody is gonna read it anyway except for u slo so i'm fine with that <3

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 months ago

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Applying to an apartment with little income and terrible credit score, in hopes that they'll be desperate enough to take me

#im not even getting my hopes up for this one folks #but this same company rook me when i had no rental history so maybe?#unlikely for the aforementioned piss poor income and credit score #im just praying they remember me feom when i used to rent from them and liked me enough then to take me again #the bathroom is not in the apartment btw #that's the wildest thing. like its a basic studio with a kitchen closet and main area #but you have to go across the hall. to the private bathroom #im hoping they realize that thats wild and give me the apartment #i neeeeed to leave my parents house. and i really miss that city the apartment is in #i wish there was a little essay section where i could tell the landlord how much i like the city #and that ill get a better job once i live there and my parents are going to pay my first month and security deposit #that would be nice #i applied knowing that i won't get it but also knowing that i cant get it if i dont try #mostly i just miss that city #there was a really nice coffee shop within walking distance of my apartment #(the apartment i applied to is next door to the building i used to live in so same area which is great)#but i didnt have wifi so i would go there a lot to do work. it was so cozy in the winter especially #and i went on a lot of walks. so i wiuld swing by there and grab a drink to sip on my walk #and it was literally within sight of a great lake. a literal great lakw of Michigan lol #i loved walking along the lake on a nice day. or a windy day and just watch the waves crash #and my favorite band is feom that city so i got to see so many of their performances. and theyre a small band so the most i ever paid #was $50 and that was for the vip package. i saw them for $10 once. and free once. and $50 for the vip #its a big art and music city and i love it so much. i miss it so fucking much and i regret leaving #but at least it made me realize that no other city is for me. that city is my home #oh and it was literally right next to a bug beautiful library that i loved to wander. i still have my library card from there #mostly used it to print stuff and you have to pay at the box next to the printer. and one time i forgot to pay. i still feel bad about that #but i dont want to reminisce too much cuz i know i wont get it #im trying to pay off my credit cards to bring up my credit score but its slow going #its much nearer my gf and all my friends so i would love to live near them. rn im hours away from about everyone i love #i ran out of tags. maybe pray for me if you pray? or just hope for me. i dont want to let myself want this but its there

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daz4i · 3 months ago

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i don't understand why plants are a basic gift like this feels like smth you should only give someone if you know they're actively looking to get it (and then you should also get a specific type they may be looking for) or if they're already known as someone who likes plants. if i move out on my own and you get me a plant as a housewarming gift i will send you home with it immediately

#wow thank you for giving me... extra work and bugs...#dgmw i get WHY people like it. it's the fact that it's considered a BASIC gift that's driving me mad #bc it feels like a very specific gift to give only to someone who is already interested in it. do you get what i mean here??#extra bad when someone has cats. my mom got flowers for her bday from multiple ppl and our cat obviously started eating them #also weird to me that the other basic adult gift is a bottle of wine. like smth you give someone that you *don't* know well #what if they don't like it. what if they don't drink. how do you give someone a gift that's reliant on taste in any way #i am so confused by the custom of gift giving!!!!! i don't get it!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 none of it makes sense #all of its rules seem to be counterintuitive to any piece of logic i hold i swear.#sorry for being extra autistic today idk what's going on but it is what it is

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queer-pagan-witch · 8 months ago

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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

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skin-slave · 2 months ago

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#what? anda... no.#willys wonderland #i love him so much #the janitor #i know everyone has ranted on him so imma do it on the dl in the tags like omg #nonverbal - sunglasses so he doesnt have to make eye contact all the time - huge amounts of caffiene to function bc adhd also i said so #plus its a safe food and just the one flavor pls - ultra dedicated to finishing the job - pinball special interest obv #breaks taken religiously and even the breaks are structured - can crunched the same way every time - hygiene important #cannot wear a dirty shirt under any circumstances - music and lights need to be the right way or overstimulating af #was in the military bc obv needs structure and an outlet for overstim anger - does the logical thing waiting for help instead of walking #just accepts existence of killer haunted robocunts like ok this is a thing now which is so badass also #driving also a fave activity which w/pinball theyre solo activities for maximum headspace #he has absolutely weaponized the rbf and strategic eye contact and hes so right!!!#make them uncomfortable back and theyll leave you alone!!!#i srsly dunno if hes more badass or more nd but hes a beautiful blend of both #😭 i love him i wanna put him in an enclosure i promise i will give him so many energy drinks

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guinevereslancelot · 8 months ago

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most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?

#is this because its a job dominated by women in particular??? idk #that's so weird #like sorry i can taste the difference and i prefer naturally occurring sugar from nature how is that not even an option #drinking nasty bitter af coffee bc i am So Sleepy but i refuse to use artificial sweeteners #they Do taste different and they're not even good for you im not doing that lol #also they got mad at me for telling one of the parents that we took one of the kids temperature and it was 99 and he threw up a little #when his dad came to get him yesterday and all of the other teachers were nowhere to be found #they were like tou shouldnhave had colleen do that #ma'am colleen went home before that and so did you #i should have left already too but waited bc the ratio on the playground was bad #anyway i did NOT say he had a fever i said it was 99 and to talk to the teacher inside #but the dad didnt yalk to her clearly then went home and scared the mom that he had a fever and threw up so she texted my boss freaking out #i literally just said he threw up a little and we took his temperature and it was 99 and to talk to the other teacher #which was all true and there was no one else there to tell him #anyway #apparently the person who had my job before me was a wacko who scared the parents with fake medical information or something #but that is not my fault and nobody told me that or not to tell the parents anything medical until this morning #ugh #also my supervisor is kind of a weirdo #she wanted to show everyone ~cute~ pictures of animals she has killed while hunting???#and i said i didnt want to see #and she was like ~oh it's not dead yet in the picture~#like okay but its dead now???#she traps them first so its a cute little fox in a trap about to be killed 😭#like wtfff #i know trappong predators is a reality but why take pictures like ohhh so cute then kill it #THEN show everyone the cute pictures like yeah isnt he adorable i killed him btw <3 #huh??????#she has a bobcat tail on her keychain too she was giving it to the teachers and kids to pet like ohhh its so soft <3

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months ago

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what do you think the arakawa fam r like with like. food. like in general. is masato particular abt texture. does masumi put too much salt in everything. does Jo like not eat because he hates himself

jo definitely does not eat because he hates himself why do you think they got tsutsumi to play him. man's thin as a rail it's perfect casting

BUT with arakawa you won't catch him dead eating anything less than eye-catching or remarkable. keywords being Catch Him i know my man would like a burger .... it's just appearances and all ... truly is not as high maintenance as he presents himself when in the privacy of his home

i have an essay about masato and his diet/food preferences but i'll keep it tl;dr and say he's a pampered house cat. do not even breathe the word 'take out' to him he'll shrivel up and vomit on the floor. homecooked meals were as healthy as arakawa and sawashiro could make them so the second masato had the chance to try Actual Food that didnt taste like watered almonds that probably solidified his villain origin story. once he got to taste pork bacon instead of turkey bacon for the first time it was all over.

#snap chats #arakawa definitely gootta force feed jo like tryna give your dog vitamins #OH BUT FOOD HCS <3<3<3 i love food ...... my stomach and ninety allergies def dont tho !!!!!#i dont think arakawa would salt his food in public- it can be seen as rude (unless you take a bite first but anyway)#at home he def got that elderly palette... need to eat an actual salt lick ...#i could be funny and project and make masato allergic to Everything but ill do him A Kindness and say he has a typical palette #tbh i dont even think he'd like bacon ... too greasy ....#this was meant to be about all three of them but its slowly turning into a masato analysis post #like its not my fault theres a lot to think of considering His Condition and if his diet is affected because of that #clearly not enough if he can drink enough to concern yumeno but whatever

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago

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#OUghh... I've been really sick the past few days like not able to keep food down and had to go to the hospital #to get iv fluids and etc. to stay hydrated lol...#perhaps some sort of stomach virus or something. but still very grrrr for it to happen in the middle of the evil summer of #course #when everything is hot and uncomfortable anyway.. I really wanted to get a sims video and costume pictures finished this week and keep #up writing like 1000 ish words a day for my game. but.. alas... the universe was like... I Think Not #I at least have been able to have some tea and juice and applesauce and like 4 saltine crackers today so #I always think it's funny when you're ill what sort of little things count as successes #like on any normal day eating a few crackers would just be something you don't even give a second thought #to . But when you're really sick it's like .. WOW.. I ate TWO crackers.. amazing.. huzzah... I should get an award certainly #call the press and alert them. I should be in the newspaper headlines for this harrowing feat. etc. lol #I still feel very shaky and weak though.. but am like... hhhhh... when can I work on my projects again...#Also I literaly never leave the house or have contact with anyone so maybe it's not a virus and was more food poisioning or something #since I'm not sure where I'd get a virus even but... regardless... stinky #just complaining since I suppose that is what personal blogs are for lol. I'm a private person in the sense of wanting to proect my identi #ty and like.. I dont want an alexa in my house listening to me all the time and I dont tag my real location on social media or share photos #that could reveal the front of my house or etc. etc. But in all other senses I really don't beleive in holding stuff in. Because it will #just fester. especially when it has to do with other people (like relationship issues or something) but even when its just stuff that only #has to do with you. If something annoys me then I shall let it be openly known. if I'm bothered it will be clear. etc.#Which I guess makes me seem like a Hater And Complainer but I guess I just feel like its better over all to explain and express openly #than to just silently stew and hold everything in and then probably feel worse for it later or something.#Expressing annoyance is kind of like casting the concept off from yourself and releasing it into the wild so that you're not harboring it #anymore. all grievances must be aired eventually. etc. this is a Pro complaining zone lol #If you feel like shit dont hide it. just go 'man I feel like shit'. etc. etc. Cast it off into the universe. be free #ANYWAY... aughhh......... the wizard has fallen ill in his stinky little tower.. pacing the stone floors in tattered robes. hair disheveled #. carefully sipping a single cup of tea over the course of an hour lest drinking too fast upset his fragile stomachs againe..

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buckpaws · 4 months ago

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when MF DOOM said theres only 1 beer left

#vent/ a little tiny bit #im good and im strong but also #0__________________________________0 #its too real #glad i work mornings every day basically now so i cant be tempted that early lol its a problem #also sorry if this uncomfortable im enjoying my blog as a space to even. express myself maybe #have not had a drinking problem since 2017 until the last 6 months basically #and im having trouble continuing to be (above) strong and good lol #literally i am one not making a caustuit post away from succumbing to the darkness. i love them for reminding me #love is everywhere. love is in all places. strength and patience will find you when you dont expect them #reminds me of 2015 crying myself to sleep from the darkness and the abuse just saying #“at least chef is happy at least chef is happy” over n over #autism special interest isnt just thing i like its thing that makes me feel whole and that i am real #i see myself and myself is real #myself cant handle this but you know who can?#a terrified damaged scientist and the people who love them. who help them beat the odds of the world and their own mind #the reserved and angry scientist who finds his purpose not in the death hes pursued but the only life he would give anything #to preserve and protect and LOVE #these thoughts i can love too..

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sleepyagent · 5 months ago

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I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot

#mine #words #human #love #someone unashamed of loving me #someone free to love me and choose me #someone who loves me with every blink #a love radiating from them surrounding me like a blanket making sure i feel it because im an idiot #because im an idiot #clown #feelings #thoughts #love comes in many forms and i dont want this to be romantic only #my friends are loving me openly and casually w lil care packages and notes for me with videos they send me with “ill sit w you”s &“i listen #with “your feelings are valid” “youre being hard to yourself so im being even softer” with “hey do you wanna play sth”#with “wanna body double” and “i rmb you like this” “have you eaten yet” “can i give you a hug”#with “my treat this time” and “can i come visit you” with “missing you” and “we share this part of life”#with “hey this reminded me of you” and “i dont need this but i thought you could” with “what have you been up to” and #with “do you wanna go there together” and “im getting [food/drink] you want some as well?”#with “i can pretend to be your waifu and help with chores” and “lets cook together” with “lets go on a walk together”#with “tell me when youre home” with “take care” and “enjoy!” with “hows your day been” “howd you sleep”#with “tell me about your dream last night” “show me your outfit” with “how are you” and “i can explain it to you again” with “i'll wait”#with “nice to hear from you again” and “i try to understand” with “im glad a late answer is better than none from you”#with “you cannot see your own effort but i can” with “how can i help you” and “just wanted to see/hear you” with “hey take this food w you”#with “i dont mind doing that for you” with ┌⁠|⁠∵|⁠┐┌⁠|⁠∵|⁠┐when seeing each other on the streets #every lil whimsical every experience thought and feeling shared #im immensely loved and i hope those people know and feel how i see appreciate and love them back #i am loved already #my friends make sure that i do not accept any less love expression and im endlessly grateful for them #“i will try for you” “i'll try remind you” “i can wake you up” this all will get its own post one day

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tardis--dreams · 8 months ago

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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes

#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service #because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not #like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone #or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos #they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of #HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is #(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them #if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes #:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet #(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never #'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay #'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao #'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how #oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment #from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you #seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything #about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams #some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee #(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members #who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))

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luvlyycy · 5 months ago

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i hate alcohol . (personal rant in tags :/)

#cy yaps ! — ♡#i literally dont understand why people drink alcohol at all????#the concept of alcohol to me is .#“im gonna drink so much of this to the point where i can possibly pass out— or even better !!! do something i dont remember :)”#like ...#huh??#especially if you have kids and drink around the kids.. omg..#(personal –>)#like is it really that hard to stop drinking when youve told them so many times that you would #even when they see you passed out on the floor and cant wake u up and think YOURE DEAD —#you still dont think its time to quit drinking???#you dont think its time to quit drinking when your child tells you i dont wanna be around you because you and dad GET VIOLENT . when yall–#drink?????#and you dont quit???#like...#i dont understand..#at that point just tell me you wanna give me trauma and fucking hate me trust n believe i will leave the house .#not that i have anywhere to go but #anywhere is better from you when you're drunk mom and dad. and i mean it.

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phagodyke · 7 months ago

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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out #not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her #like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool #it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun #i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again #but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too #to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together #thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all #like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad #and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do #and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends #im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for #but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen #to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it #i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and #decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen #and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree #but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most #and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen #and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway #so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me #which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its #crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it #idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her #i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of #resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different #and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has

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